You're so nebulous sometimes
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
