I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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