I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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