Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Randomize
