Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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