Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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