Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
