My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
