the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
