We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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