Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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