ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
