I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
