I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
