Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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