I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
