i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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