shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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