I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I can text with my tongue
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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