you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
