Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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