Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
