Don't you send me to vm
She's JV to your varsity
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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