My brain says no but my pants say off.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
