not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
