she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
