you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
