i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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