i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
try to milk me bitch
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