WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
this hospital has no fireball
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
