i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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