I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
