i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
