i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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