If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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