We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
