Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
