remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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