hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
