You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
