Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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