then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
