Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can you bring me the toilet please
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The Olympian is in my bed
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
