ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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