The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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