Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
