i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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