remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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