No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
