What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
